Today comes stacked high on the pile of grey days as if they all ran into each other and the aftermath is a beautiful blanket of snow. All I need is a little crack in the sky to let the sun through. Like a dandelion growing through a sidewalk, I tredge forward knowing it will give and I will have that sense of relief only spring can bring. And then I get excited thinking about it.
Yesterday, I went into the bank and asked the teller for sunshine. She then remarked that she just loves these gray days! And that is what snapped me back inside to make some shifts in my thinking. In her world it is a lovely day and in mine it is blah...hmmmm What do I really want?
Sometimes I feel like that dandelion in this world. Wanting so much to shine through the darkness (my own created darkness). So much suffering in this world that is self perpetuated by my buy in and focus upon it. At times it is difficult to keep pushing forward in love, when I allow my mind to become lazy.
The thing that intrigues me most about Buddha is the basis of all his teachings were about our attachment to suffering. And the first thing that comes forward in thought is I don't want suffering - so, I am not attached;) There in lies the true teaching because in the "not wanting" of suffering we are attached to it and creating more of it.
I'm not Buddhist, I'm not anything, but interested in learning all I can to form my own opinions based also on how I feel inside. And lately with the weather and the world the way they are (or seem to be) and this lingering cold, I have gotten a glimpse of what it truly means to be attached to my suffering. My awareness of it also makes it crystal clear to me in regards to the way those around me and the world of thinking are attached too.
"The only thing you need to know is that FREEDOM is the most precious gift we are born with on the inside and that it is the hardest to hold onto." line from old TV show Quantum Leap
This got me thinking...What is Freedom to me? And my answer is broad because there are so many freedoms I cherish and am grateful for, but the ones I have to guard most are the ones that are the most elusive... The freedoms of my spirit. The the signature of my soul working through this body, this society and these beliefs it is a miracle that it can even eek through!
It isn't easy to recognize these aside from other natural freedoms - except when they are taken or held back by ourselves or others. Then they build like a raging fire inside and they have to come forward. I think of Martin Luther King a lot in regards to Freedom of spirit. The fire inside of him came blazing forward and still ignites! But the fire inside doesn't need to necessarily show up to the extreme of his, most of my internal struggles with my own freedom come in the form of protecting what must come through me in a spiritual sense, like simply not allowing others beliefs/ideas/judgements to sway my pure action in regards to what I know must come through me.
In America we are born with so much more freedom than others across the world, yet we suffer just as much as anyone else. Why is this? Why is it okay with us to use our freedom to create suffering? We have all of this intelligence and consciousness that we do not fight for... We go along, buying in, until we forget that we have independent freedoms that are inside of our souls. At a certain point we even become numb to those.In my experiment, meditation has helped me to reveal these other layers of my soul that vine me into a greater intelligence/consciousness than I could ever muster up with the 10% brain power that 'they' say I am utilizing;)
I have come to understand that it is our attachment to suffering as a whole that has diminished our power to follow the freedoms that speak to us from within. I believe it is my focus on my cold, dreary weather, silly job that keep me from experiencing something so much greater! And since we are ONE I am keeping you from yours too in some way.
Freedom from Suffering = Shifting focus. Does the dandelion focus on how hard it will be to grow up between slabs of cement? No! it is just doing what is in it's nature to do...reach for the sun. It is a wake up call (once again in a new insight) to redirect my gaze on the sun - on the brightness of what it is all really about, what connects us all - making us ONE, what is in my heart and all else must remain in a fuzzy blur.
How do I shift my focus... ?
Well, the way I do it is through gratitude and by writing down what is really going on in my mind to make the feelings of blah show up all around me. Then I can redirect my attention/focus by getting back to what I REALLY want and what is truly important and to really go for it because I have the freedom to do so!!!
Ahhhhh that feels so much better! It is only through healing my own attachment to suffering that I can heal the suffering of the world. It is only through discovering and living from my internal freedom that I can fight for the freedom of others. Releasing ourselves from the bondage of suffering by discovering that we create more of whatever it is we place our focus on... and bam! the feeling of exaltation spreads to the corners of our minds and this earth making an opening where none existed before.
WOW, We are so much more POWERFUL than we can even imagine!!!
I surround you in the freedom from your suffering and the worlds suffering to hear loud and clear the inner wisdom that is speaking to you always ...of your true freedom.
XOXO BIG LOVE
